elmatto

12:44 am: *takes a deep breath*
okay.
I'm finally over all this.
Now that my heads back on straight...I'll give you all the low down on the situation. Basically, now, I've done enough distancing that being around the girl and her ex doesnt bother me anymore. It feels more like...when your best friend is hanging out with his girlfriend or something. Ya just dont care anymore. But basically...this girl is hanging around her ex a lot, holding on to the small thread of hope that he's going to hook back up with her and start dating again. But basically they're fuck buddies right now...er...WERE anyways. Go figure. Meanwhile...I'm just a friend off to the side who hangs out with her occasionally...which is cool. It's in this situation that I have truely understood the phrase "nice guys finish last". Her ex...all he does is piss her off and make her stressed out. She tows his ass around everywhere cuzz he doesnt have a car. She asks for gas money and he wont give it. He makes her spend money on him on her birthday. He gets in her face for her hanging around a guy that he hates.
WHAT A WINRAR.
But whatever. At THIS point in time she's not doin' the dirty with him anymore. Basically said that she doesnt want to be a fuck buddy anymore. If he wants to fuck they'll have to be dating. SO NOW this is where its at. I figure...unless he truly does get back with her...things are going to get really messy in the next few days.
To be honest...this shit is juicy as hell. It's like a soap opera or something. Juicy juicy drama.
In the mean time she's also flirting with me...but every time she does I just close myself off even more...hoping she'll get the idea eventually and just stop. It's hard to say if I really even feel anything for her anymore. Besides being a friend a mean. I'm trying to become cold on the inside so I don't fall back into the trap I did a week ago. I don't want that again. That shit hurt. But yeah...basically I force myself to remember all that when she starts to pull that shit on me.
But yeah...basically this entire situation is all sorts of fucked up. I just kind of sit on the side line and smile. I'll let her figure everything out for herself, even though at the same time I feel sorry for her. She's essentially digging her own grave even though she doesn't realize it yet.
If she does end up getting back with him...hey...I'm happy for her. If not. Then I dunno what to say for her. She already told me if it doesn't work out between her and her ex she'd move on to me...mr. second banana. That makes me feel oh so wonderful. The cynical side of me wants to be a dick and break it off if that happens...while mr. nice matt wants to give it a second go. At this point in time...I'd be perfectly content with the first.